Softporn Adventure is a text-based adventure game released by Sierra many moons ago. It’s the only text adventure that Sierra released and is the precursor to the Leisure Suit Larry series.

The basic controls are E, N, S, W, U and D. Type INVENTORY to see what you’re carrying. At the top of the screen you can see where you can go and what you can interact with at the given location. You begin the game with $2,500 and can always go to the casino to try and win more money. Exact commands you need to type are in capitals.

Bar

You begin in a sleazy bar. ORDER WHISKEY. TAKE WHISKEY. Go W and then TAKE FLOWERS. GIVE WHISKEY and the guy will give you a tv controller. TAKE UNIT and then go N to the bathroom. LOOK BASIN. Guess what you find? TAKE RING and then LOOK GRAFFITI. You’ll see a password: B E L L Y B U T T O N.

Walk S and then E back to the bar. PUSH BUTTON. A voice will ask you what the password is. BELLYBUTTON. The curtain will be pulled back. Go E. TV ON. You’ll be asked to choose a channel. Select 6. You’ve found Cable TV with kinky X-rated movies. When asked if you want to change the channel type N. Now that the pimp is distracted go U (requires $2,000).

In the upstairs bedroom TAKE CANDY then go N to the balcony. Go D to the trash bin. LOOK GARBAGE. LOOK CORE and TAKE SEEDS. Go W, N to the sidewalk outside the bar. HAIL CAB and when the driver asks you where to respond with CASINO.

Casino

When you reach your destination PAY DRIVER. Go E, E, U and W. LOOK ASHTRAY and TAKE PASSCARD. No head back, E, D, W, W and HAIL CAB. Go to the DISCO.

PAY DRIVER and walk E to the pharmacy. BUY RUBBER and then choose color, flavor, lubricated or ribbed. LOOK RACK and BUY MAGAZINE. LOOK MAGAZINE for some tips on how to pick up women at the disco. Walk W and N to the entrance to the disco.

Disco

SHOW PASSCARD. Walk W to the singles disco. BUY WINE and then LOOK GIRL. GIVE FLOWERS, GIVE CANDY and GIVE RING. TAKE WINE and go E,S. GIVE WINE. Go E, DROP WINE and then go W. TAKE KNIFE. HAIL CAB and take it back to the CASINO.

Casino

PAY DRIVER. You need to win $3,000 from the casino to continue. Go E, N and PLAY 21. Save your game and reload if you lose. When you have at least $3,000 go S, W and N to the chapel.

MARRY GIRL. The preacher will take $1,000 and the girl will take $2,000 and says she’ll meet you at the honeymoon suite. Go S, HAIL CAB, go to the DISCO and PAY DRIVER.

DISCO

Go N and SHOW PASSCARD. Go W and S to the hallway. DIAL 555-0987 to order wine. Go N, E, S and HAIL CAB. CASINO and PAY DRIVER.

Casino

Go E, E, U, W and S. This is your chance! SCREW GIRL. The girl ties you to the bed and runs out of the room. CUT ROPE. TAKE ROPE. DROP KNIFE and DROP PASSCARD. You won’t need them any more.

Walk N, E and D. LOOK PLANT. You spot some bushes behind it. ENTER BUSHES. TAKE STOOL. TAKE HAMMER. EAT MUSHROOM. Go S, PUSH BUTTON, BELLYBUTTON. Go E and U. WEAR RUBBER and SCREW HOOKER.

DROP RUBBER, DROP UNIT, go N and USE ROPE. Go W and BREAK WINDOW. You’ll use the hammer to break the window. Go S and TAKE PILLS. Go N, E, DROP ROPE, D, W and HAIL CAB. Go to the CASINO and PAY DRIVER.

Go E, E and U. GIVE PILLS. DROP PILLS, DROP HAMMER and PUSH BUTTON. Go E to the elevator. DROP STOOL, CLIMB STOOL, LOOK CABINET and GET PITCHER.

WATER ON, FILL PITCHER, go W, PUSH BUTTON, go D, ENTER BUSHES, WATER SEEDS, and TAKE APPLE. EAT MUSHROOM. Go N, HAIL CAB and go the CASINO. PAY DRIVER.

Walk E, E, U and PUSH BUTTON. Then go U, N, D and GIVE APPLE. SCREW GIRL to complete the game!